Frugal Living - Home Decor

I'm one of those people that decorates everything else first and saves our bedroom for last.  My kids have always had great bedrooms, but we usually don't.  I decided to put my husband and me on the top of the list for a change, but being me, I did it on a budget!

This is the before picture of our bedroom.  Nothing exciting, right?

I am very aware that I share the room with my husband, who is not into girly things, so I tried to strike a balance of pretty, but not overly girly.  I wanted to do something with peacock colors, but not overly so.

Here's part of the after.  The comforter that we had still worked fine, but it was getting a little ratty, so I elected to go with a duvet cover, which just slips over the existing comforter.  I paid $23 for it on Target online, and with using my Target card, I got 5% off and free shipping.  The pillows and bedskirt were from the old set, just reused.

I also got curtains from Target.  Again, 5% off and free shipping.  The best part was that if I didn't like them, I could return them to the store.  I didn't have to deal with shipping them back!

The peacock wreath above the bed is the best deal in the entire room.

I saw it when I was at a Michael's store in Madison, which is about 2 hours from my home.  I didn't buy at the time, because I didn't have my 40% off coupon with me.  I'm glad I didn't.  When I went to the store nearest me, they didn't have it.  It had to be transferred in from Madison.  I considered making one until I priced the materials.  The price was $19.99 in Madison and would have been around $13 after my coupon.  I couldn't buy the materials for that price.  When it came in, my husband went to pick it up.  It rang up for.............  How much do you think???

$1.99!!!! Yep.  It was 90% off!!!  I couldn't beat that deal.

I found some candles online that I liked, but no way was I paying the price they were asking!

They were anywhere from $16 to $33 each.  Yeah, I don't think so.  For the spot I was using them I needed 3 of them.  My friend, Jen, gave me the wall hanging candle holder they are on.  This woman wouldn't spend $48 - $99 on decorative candles.  Especially not when I can make them myself.

Total for the 3 candles... $9.  I had the two cream candles already, so I used those.  I purchased the green one for under $3.  The peacock and blue feathers were all on one "stem" originally priced at $8, but I had a 40% off coupon at Hobby Lobby.  The ribbon was on sale for $1.  So, I made my own candles for about 90% off what I would have paid online.

I decided to make the main colors the blue, green and brown, with just pops of purple here and there took keep it from being too girly.  The poster in the  middle is from Michaels craft store.  Originally $12.99, but I had a 40% off coupon.  If you are looking for home decor items, don't be afraid to check craft stores.  They have a lot more than you think and both Michaels and Hobby Lobby offer coupons on their website, or your smart phone.  Many times they are for 40% off a regular priced item.  I use these frequently.

The blue and purple "feathers" are actually pens from Pier 1.  The little wooden vase that they are in was a gift from my best friend when she went to Jamaica to get married.  It was the perfect place for these pens.

The lamp to the side was also purchased at Pier 1, along with the hook and candle holder in this photo.

















The pens, hook, candle holder and lantern were all a total of $30.  It was originally $50, but I had a coupon for $20 off a purchase of $50 or more.

The last thing is the scarf you see hanging off the hook. I made it.  The yarn was the colors I wanted, it was $5.99 a skein at Hobby Lobby and I had my trusty 40% off coupon.  The yarn was a total of $7.20.

So the grand total for my bedroom makeover.... Just over $100.  And that was spent over about a 3 month period.

I haven't decided on a wall color yet.  I'll gladly take suggestions.  I want something neutral, but I'm not sure what.  I'm also looking at doing a new headboard that I saw on Pinterest.  It uses as an old door, painted in your choice of colors.  We had "extra" doors laying around our house, so the only cost would be a couple of quarts of paint.

I'm not sure what colors I'll use, but I think it would be a neat accent in the bedroom.

My husband is happy with what I've done and even happier with the amount of money that I didn't spend.  Thrift stores are another great place to find home decor items.  Check out my friend over at the Two Men and a Little Farm blog and see what he has done with the some thrift store finds.

Frugal Living - Homemade Cleaners

When I first learned about home made cleaners I thought, "Just go to the store and buy some cleaners.  Really."


However, as I blogged about here, the older I get, the more sensitive my skin gets.  I can't handle dyes or perfumes, so I have to be very picky about what I buy.


Fast forward to last week when my friend, Tess, gave me some laundry detergent that she made.  It is completely free of dyes and perfumes, and did a great job on my clothes.  I love it.


I also have been learning about essential oils, and have discovered that oils contain many medicinal and anti fungal properties.  There are many "recipes" for cleaners that use essential oils.  


The best part is that these cleaners are safe around pets and kids, in addition to being far more economical that commercial cleaners, and safer for our skin. 


Here are some "recipes" that I have.  


Laundry Soap


2 cups Borax
2 cups Washing Soda
1/4 C baking soda
1 regular sized bar of soap (Ivory, orFels Naptha will work)


There are variations on this.  Some say to grate the soap, and other's say to microwave it for about 90 seconds, leaving it brittle, then pulse all of this in a blender or food processor.  


Add 2 tablespoons to your laundry. - This works in HE washers as well.


Wood Floor Cleaner


1/4 C olive oil
1/4 C vinegar
10 drops of essential oil - lemon, orange or tea tree oil/melaluca
Add to hot water.


Regular floor cleaner


1 C vinegar
1/2 capful liquid castile soap
2 gallons warm water


Toilet cleaner


1/2 C baking soda
10 drops melaluca
1/4 C vinegar


All Purpose Spray


1/4 C vinegar
2 C water
1 tsp borax
30 drops oil - lavender, lemon, eucalyptus, peppermint, orange


Alternate All Purpose Spray


2 C water
2 Tablespoons liquid castile soap
1 T white thyme essential oil (kills e-coli)
10 drops lavender essential oil


Combine in spray bottle, spray and let sit for 20 minutes.  Wipe with damp cloth.  This has anti bacterial properties.


Window Cleaner


1/8 C vinegar
1 C water
10 - 15 drops lemon


Tub and Tile Srubber


2 tsp borax
1/2 tsp liquid castile soap
1/2 C vinegar
3 C hot water


Pour into a spray bottle, spray the surfaces and scrub.


Furniture Polish


2 Tablespoons olive oil
1/4 C vinegar
1/4 tsp lemon oil or fresh lemon juice


Mix in spray bottle and spray as needed.


Anti bacterial wipes


1 roll of GOOD paper towels cut in half to make toilet paper sized rolls
2 C warm water
2 Tablespoons coconut or olive oil
3 drops lemon
3 drops melaluca
3 drops white thyme


Bring to a boil.  Pour over paper towels, with cardboard core inside.  Flip roll until saturated.  Remove the cardboard core.  Put into an air tight container and pull from the center.


If you are looking for good quality essential oils, I buy mine from Doterra.  You can read about what makes them better than other oils.


It will take less than an hour of your time to make your mixes and it will save you a lot of money as well as being healthier for everyone in your family.

Frugal Living - Aldi Stores

Today I made the fruit salad pictured above for $6.85 for the entire bowl.

There is a grocery store chain that I tend to forget about because they are not in terribly convenient proximity to where I shop, but I hear people talk about the great prices, especially on produce.

I went to Michaels, and in the same shopping center is an Aldi store.  They are great grocery stores.  There are a few little "quirks," but they easily offset by the savings.

First let me start with the ingredients and the costs, so you can get a feel for the price savings.

1 pineapple. $.99
7 Kiwi  $.69 total (not each)
1 qt strawberries $.99
1 cantaloupe $2.29
6 oz blackberries $1.89

Grand total $6.85

So, what's different about Aldi, and how can they sell so inexpensively?

First, they don't sell name brands.  They have their own brands.

There is no fancy shelving.

You bring your own bags and bag your own groceries.

If you want a cart, you will need to put a quarter in to get your cart.  Your quarter is returned when you return your cart.

They don't take checks or credit cards.  Cash or debit card only.

They do not take coupons, but that doesn't matter because there isn't merchandise there that you could use coupons on since they don't stock name brands.  If you are a specific brand shopper, you will not be happy with Aldi.

The stores tend to be a little smaller, so if you are looking for "gourmet" ingredients, it's likely you won't find them.  You may not even find every item on your grocery list, but the cost savings will be worth it.

The quality of the food is just as good as any name brand, and my budget likes them much better.

You can eat healthy and eat on a budget.  Check out Aldi and find out.

Seeing it done right

As I deal with my son starting down a criminal path, I can't help but look at the sweet face in this picture.

This is a little girl that I watch 2 days a week.  She brings such joy to my week and lifts my spirits whenever I see her.

My son had a crappy start to his life.  His abuse started before he was born.  His birth mother drank and used drugs during the pregnancy.  She denies it to me, but I have court reports where she admits it.  All of the boys (5 total) show physical characteristics of fetal alcohol issues.

Add in continued physical abuse after his birth, watching domestic violence as he grew up and various other things, and his path did not start out well.

Contrast that to this beautiful little girl.  She is sweet as can be.

Her parents love her completely, prepare her baby food from scratch (organic foods no less), keep a clean home, hug and kiss her often, get down on the floor and play with her and everything that good parents do.  I wonder what my son's life would be like if his birth mother had loved him enough to do these things with him.

I normally watch this little girl at her home. It is better for her to be on her regular schedule, in her own environment, surrounded by familiar things.  Today we had to leave because my daughter had a presentation at school and I wanted to see it.  Baby girl saw my husband today.  She's only seen him once or twice before this.

When you parent the kids we do, you look at interactions very differently.  She did not reach out for him or eagerly engage with him, but she didn't shy away either.  She waited for my cues as to whether he was safe or not.  When she got her verbal, and non verbal cues, she began to interact.

She is a sweet little girl, ahead of schedule developmentally, and when she cries, it's because she has a need.  She is just a joy.  When her mom leaves for her classes, she doesn't cry, because she knows she is safe with me and that I will take care of her.  However, when her mom comes home at the end of the day, it's a different story.  She lights up with a big smile when she sees her.  If mom leaves the room, Baby Girl starts to cry.  Even though she can see mom or hear her, she still is ready to be back in the arms of mom.

As much as I hate to hear this little one cry (it breaks my heart) knowing that she is so securely attached to her mom makes my heart sing.  This is one little girl who will be loved completely, given every chance in life and barring any major medical issues, will have uninterrupted attachment.  That may sound like no big deal, but in my world, it is huge!!

Being right sucks sometimes

The past few weeks have been very hectic and I've been processing a lot of things that have happened.  Fortunately for me, I have some very good friends who help me through things.

My son is currently sitting in jail.  Less than a week ago I received a phone call asking for bail money.  I've made it clear that I don't pay bail money, but he asked anyway.  I didn't pay.  Fortunately, neither did my father.

Things currently stand at 5 felony burglary charges, 3 misdemeanor joy riding charges and 1 felony bail jumping charge.  All since March 2, 2012.

Sadly, THIS is not surprising.  The rapid succession of charges is somewhat surprising.

What I have been processing is the level of my son's sociopathy.  I had a conversation with his birth mother the other night, the first ever.  Her telling of the events of the last six weeks when he re-entered her level showed me exactly how damaged he is.  Apparently he thinks nothing of trashing me to his birth mother.

However, he does the same to his birth mother with me.  During the conversation where he was asking for bail money, he told me that his birth mother had set him up.  She did turn him in for the theft.  Just a few minutes prior to calling me he told her how much he loved her, asked her for a hug and kiss and completely tried to manipulate her.  When he called me the switch had flipped.  I was the wonderful one and she was the horrible one.  I got a sob story about how he had a job, an apartment and needed to get out so he could continue to work.  It was a lie.

The longer we talked it became obvious how much he has played everyone in his life.  Deep down, there is no true and honest person inside.  He has no values or beliefs that are honest.  Everything is manipulation.

Tomorrow he will face the initial court hearing in one county, Tuesday he has a plea hearing in another county.  The end of May he has trial for the first charge, unless he decides to take a plea on Tuesday.

A few months ago I predicted he would be in jail and/or prison before his 19th birthday.  Another thing I was right on, and I'm rather sick of being right on these things.  All of it is out of my control though.

All of these charges are state level, which means prison, not county jail.  This is a new phase of parenting.  One I thought I was prepared for, but sadly, I am not.

Does It Bother You?

The first time I was asked if something bothered me was when a foster mother asked me if it bothered me to see my son being handcuffed and taken to juvenile detention.  My response was quick and easy... "NO."  She looked at me rather funny.  "You have no idea how many times I have seen this," I replied.  It didn't change her feeling of how I SHOULD be feeling.

It really puzzles me how people who haven't been down our road feel they have the right to decide how we should feel. Yes, she was his foster mother...for less than a year at that point...and I'd been doing this for 11 years, had been in front of every judge in our county, and had seen my son in handcuffs more times than I can remember.  No, it doesn't bother me.  It's not a reflection of my parenting.  I didn't make the choices that landed him in jail.  He owns these choices.

In the past 6 weeks or so we have received numerous phone calls from the police, our son's biological brother and various other people about his latest illegal activities.  We have even gotten a few phone calls from our son, usually wanting money.  He knows we don't pay bail money, so for a few days he sat in jail.  He is currently up on felony burglary charges, and he may have some car theft charges coming, and possibly some more burglary charges.

When I see our son's brother's name come up on the caller ID on my phone, I groan.  I groan because I know that our son has done something else to his brother that is causing his brother problems.  Right now we work with his brother on how to file the appropriate charges with the police.  Our son dropped off a flat screen TV and surround sound at his brother's house as "payment" for money he stole from his brother.  We all know the TV is stolen and we don't want his brother charged with receiving stolen property, so we navigate that system to help his brother.

I got a text from my husband today telling me that the police are looking for our son.  It doesn't bother me.  In some respects, I'm numb.  I've been through this too many times to get worked up each time this happens.  Actually, I expect this to happen.  My prediction is that he will be in jail/prison before his 19th birthday in June.  In a twisted way, that thought is comforting.  I will know where he is (he is currently house hopping - living with whoever will take him in until he burns the bridge with them) and that he is being fed.  He does "well" in jail.  He needs the structure in order to be successful in his life.  They may treat his Bi-Polar disorder there as well. If they don't, he's at least contained.

So, no, none of this bothers me.  It does bother me to see him throwing his life away, but it doesn't surprise me.  He could have done something incredibly amazing with his life, but each day he slips further and further away.

Self Care

I can "preach this sermon" like nobody's business, but I fail miserably at it.

When you are parenting emotionally disturbed children it is especially essential that you take care of both your mental and physical health.  You can not be an effective parent if your health is lacking.

I am an on-the-go person.  I rarely sit down and just relax.  When you parent kids with special needs you give up a lot, so as Lent approached, the thought of giving up yet another thing is emotionally draining to so many of us.

Several years ago I had a discussion with some of the group at ATN about giving something up.  We decided that we would do something to nurture ourselves or do something to grow spiritually.  Giving back to ourselves is one of the best things we can do for our family and ourselves, but one of the most difficult things to do.

It doesn't have to be something major.  Today I am going to get my nails done.

This month I am doing some traveling, which is incredibly restorative to me.  Last week I went on a business trip to Chicago.  How can a business trip be relaxing?  First of all, I rarely travel for business.  Secondly, I went with my boss and a co-worker and we are all good friends.  We laughed a lot, were treated to a wonderful dinner by the company, and just enjoyed each other's company.  About 10 minutes after I returned from that, I turned around and went to Madison for my Lay Academy class. The class is full of good friends, and helps me to grow spiritually.  I was gone from Thursday morning until lat afternoon on Saturday.  It wasn't a long time, but it was enough to help my spirit.

Next week I will head to the mountains in North Georgia for a ATN Board of Directors meeting.  The setting is beautiful and the friends are wonderful.  To be among people that understand your life and you don't have to offer any explanations or excuses is so refreshing.  I will be gone from Thursday morning until late Sunday night.  Again, not a long time, but refreshing and renewing.

My self-care is not this extravagant every day.  Usually it's something like knitting, reading a good book, or stopping (very difficult for me) and spending time on the couch with my husband.

Earlier this week I met with my Ear, Nose and Throat doctor to go over some test results relating to my sinuses and migraines.  One of the things he recommended was regular massages.  You don't have to tell me twice!!  My husband was sitting right there when the doctor recommended this and even said my husband could do the massages.  What better thing than having a doctor say you should get a massage?

Find something to do for yourself on a regular basis.  It could be reading, exercise, bible study, pampering such as a massage or getting your nails done, a craft you enjoy, even coloring a picture.  Pick whatever it is that will boost your spirits and your mental health.  It is crucial to EVERY part of your life!