Monday, January 16, 2012
Loss after loss
The last few days I have had a very heavy heart. Dear friends of mine lost their 31 year old daughter in a tragic car accident.
We are very close, almost like family, so I grieve for and with them.
This wonderful couple has opened their home to 10 children, all adopted as older children or from disrupted/dissolved adoptions. This means that the child was already adopted by another family and that adoption didn't work, for whatever reason.
That means that these children have already suffered great losses in their lives. There are abuse and neglect histories, loss of birth family, loss of adoptive family or families, and now the loss of a sibling.
I know this family well, so I know the personalities of the children. I see one that is withdrawing slightly and another who is going between lashing out and pulling in. This loss has hit them hard.
Their sister was a beautiful young woman and her loss with be felt by many, but mostly by this family.
I will do my absolute best to help them through this time of loss, and to be open to ALL of the children. I have a pretty good relationship with the teens (I think) and we have talked through other issues before. They know how to find me if they need someone to talk to.
This is the best I can do. I cannot take away their pain, and for that my heart remains heavy. I will be there for the parents who try to figure out how to deal with life without their beautiful daughter.
Sometimes the best we can do is just BE. That means just sit with someone. Maybe offer a shoulder to cry on or lean on.
Whatever is needed, I will do my best to be a good friend. This is not something a parent/family should ever have to go through.
One of the nieces of the young woman summed it up so beautifully today.
"Do you know Roni can see the rainbow? Cuz Roni's in heaven and in heaven you can see everything."
Enjoy the rainbows Roni.